Wednesday, May 19, 2010

We Deal With Stress Differently

I realized that yesterday. My husband and I are dealing with the news of the epilepsy diagnosis differently. I'm conscious of how I'm dealing with it. I'm trying to hit it head on. Anticipating various scenarios and putting plans of action into place to deal with them. Sometimes, I feel like the warrior mom, standing with sword drawn, and shield in place to protect my girl from this disorder I can't see, but I know is there. Acceptance wasn't an issue, I accepted, then went into fight mode. My plan is to do everything I can to keep her safe, then let go and leave it up to God to step in where I can't, and my energy has been focused there, that's how I'm dealing with the stress and the news. It's not a perfect solution, however. Lack of sleep and added stress is not good for the memory, I totally flaked on a child's parent teacher conference yesterday, and feel horrible about it. I've left a message, profusely appologizing for my lightmindedness. It took a while for me to realize though, that my husband isn't going to deal with things the same way. It seems to me, that to him, it's not big deal, and at first that irritated me. But as I've watched him, as I've looked back on this past week, I can see that my dear husband has been more stressed than usual. He's dealing with it, it's just being channeled differently. I realized last night, that I need to cut him some slack, we're different people, and we'll deal with things differently. Just because it's different, doesn't mean it's not right. It works for him, even if it annoys me sometimes. I'm sure my way annoys him at times too. I think dealing with stress can be hard for a couple, and if we're not careful, if we're not understanding and forgiving, then we make it that much harder on ourselves. We have enough stress right now, why add to it?

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