Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Alta had a great morning. I think we were all excited about it. I woke up at 5:30 this morning and was in and out of sleep. Every sound I heard I opened my eyes, looked at the clock, and waited. Would there be more? Which child was moving around? Would she have a seizure without making sounds? How would we know? Instead of giving into the questions and fear, I stayed in bed. Just because I couldn't sleep didn't mean I should wake her up. When those moments of fear or frustration creep up, and tears threaten to spill. When I want to run to God crying and asking why, I remind myself that it's not really that bad. Yes, it looks like she has a seizure disorder, but it could be worse, there are many, much more severe seizure disorders that what she may have. I'll be thankful for whatever good I can get. I remind myself, that when I feel like crying, that's the perfect time for praying, it's much more useful for my family. I also remind myself that when things get tough, we just need to get tougher. No one accomplished anything by giving up. We have this country I love because ordinary people got tougher when life got tough. I look at my ancestors and all the adversity they went through. I have a wonderful legacy to draw strength from because when life got tough, these people got tougher. I have a very firm belief that God won't give me things I can't handle without him. I may flounder a bit, and success might not be pretty, but we will get there, and we'll be all the better for it. Maybe this is the legacy our family passes on, and lesson for my children. As for the immediate future, she has an MRI appointment scheduled for next week, still waiting to hear about the EEG. Began researching the two medications the doc mentioned yesterday. Thanks for stopping by, and for all the prayers. Our family really appreciates it.