I wish I could figure out how to load a picture from my iPod to my blog. But I can't, and honestly, I don't care that much right now.
Today, I had to say good bye to one of my best friends. My dog, Sirius Black. He went in for exploratory surgery because of a lump on his side (see previous posts). They couldn't get him through surgery.
I was told that doc probably knew from the beginning, when they opened him, that it was a losing battle, but worked for an hour or more to try to change that outcome. He dreaded the phone call, and put it off as long as he could.
I knew when the kids said it was the vet's office, that something was wrong. It was too early for them to call me.
"I don't think I can save him."
I had just dropped the kids off from school. I gave them the choice to go back with me and say good bye. Carter stayed home, but the rest came with me.
They had Sirius cleaned up, and waiting for us. We were there when he left this world. All along the way, I gave the children choices. They could be there for everything, or just a few things. They did what they could.
I believe that heaven is full of animals. They're loyal and trustworthy. They love without condition. They are what we should all aspire to be. How could the gates not open for them?
There are reminders of him all over. He was here just this morning. He was playing with Zeus. He was nuzzling me. He chased squirrels from the yard. He has...he had a way of launching himself from the deck that was amazing. His ears were the softest I'd ever felt. His tail curled in an almost pug-like way.
He was amazing. He was adorable. He was well loved, and he was mine. He will be missed.
It's snowing hard here today. I tell myself the angels are crying for me as they welcome him home. He gets to see an old friend, Kenai. He gets to meet a new friend, Kodi. Kodi and Sirius will get along splendidly, and they can all play together now, I wish I could see it. I hope there's a ball.