Today, I sent the 75 pages to a friend for the last crit before they go to the agent. I'm expecting this one to be my toughest critique. The friend is a fellow writer, and she's good. She's published and knows what it takes to make it into this world I'm trying to get into.
I value her opinion.
But at the same time, I'm nervous.
It's hard to put so much time into something, be exited about the results you worked so hard for, and then get a dismal critique back. I haven't gotten anything back yet, but I have to assume there will be plenty of work to do.
It's hard on the ego.
On the other hand, I don't feel I've got any business submitting these pages to an agent without doing EVERYTHING I can to make it the best it can be. That means letting go and letting my friend comb through it, then putting in the work that needs to be done after I get it back.
I've gotten better over the last year about receiving less than glowing feed back. I'm learning to take it professionally, and not personally. And honestly, I'd rather my friends - who want me to succeed - point out my weak spots than let an agent see them. Skipping over this step could equal lost opportunities. I don't want that.
So, cross your fingers for me!